The Lousy Truth
by lostandinsecure
Summary: Craig Manning has had it bad for the past few years. He has no girl, no friends, and no motivation. Ellie Nash's best friend has been a knife for the past three months. What happens when these two meet again after a year of silence? / Crellie- Rated T.
1. Walking Travesty

**Inspired by "The Lousy Truth" By NeverShoutNever. It's a really good song, check it out :)**

**The retcon over the past few seasons of Degrassi kind of messed up Craig's age. Without the retcon, in 2010 Craig would be 22. However, since the whole two seasons-one year thing, the 'eighth graders' (Marco, Paige, Ellie, etc) should be in their third year of college, thus making them, and Craig 20. If you catch my drift.**

**So, they're 20 in this, not 22 like they SHOULD be. Stupid Degrassi, messin' up everything. ;) Juuusssttt kiddin'.**

**PS, this is a side project to get the creative Crellie juices flowing. I know, I have three fanfics on the go at once, I get like this every now and again :S**

**DISCLAIMER: If I owned Degrassi, Craig and Ellie would be together, Manny wouldn't be a whore, Jimmy's stem cell surgery would succeed and he'd be walking, and Liberty and Toby would totally be together too. Alas, I do not. :(**

ENJOYYY! :D

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><p><strong>Midnight, September 10. <strong>_This is surely the best way to spend your 20 birthday, Craig. _I sighed, as I slid the thin key into the slot and waited for the green light to blink on the side of the door. I was in Toronto for a music festival, and I knew for a fact that none of my 'friends' would be there to cheer me on. I sighed, pushed the large door open, and entered my hotel room.

Hotel rooms always feel so empty when you're alone. I threw my bags to the floor and lay on the large bed in the middle of the room, strumming away mindlessly on my guitar. I remembered the last time I saw Ellie Nash; in Los Angeles almost two years ago. I missed her. I missed her a lot.

In my twenty years of existence, I'd never felt this alone. Not even when my mother or father died. Not even when Ashley left for England and I went crazy on the streets of Toronto. Not even when I was living on my own in Vancouver trying to start a music career for myself. Nothing hurt as much as this did.

I wondered if Ellie even remembered that it was my birthday. _Probably not... She's probably too busy being a big-time journalist, living her dream. _Ellie was always like that, chasing her dreams. I used to be like that, but depression and loneliness got the best of me, ridding myself of any motivation to write songs or to get off my lazy ass and perform some shows. I decided coming home would be a good idea, but now it doesn't seem like that. I figured everyone would be waiting for me, but no. All of my friends were starting their third year of university, actually making something of their lives. I was just a drifter-musician who, let's face it, has no actual future with fame. I sighed, and sat up.

I put my guitar away; even attempting to do something productive made me want to die. _I'm such a failure,_ I groaned a bit and got up off the bed, and grabbed my carry-on bag that was still packed from the flight. I took out two prescription pill bottles; one was filled with my bipolar medication and the other with my newly prescribed anti-depressants. I took one of each, and washed them down with some water from the tap in the small bathroom.

I looked at myself in the mirror, I was a complete mess. I had bags under my eyes, my face was un-shaven, and my hair was in dire need of a trim. I pulled my shirt off and left it in a ball on the bathroom floor. I sighed, and went back out into the room. I lay back down on the bed, and stared at the ceiling for what seemed like a very long time. I felt a vibration from my cell phone in my pocket, which was an uncommon occurrence, since I had absolutely no real friends. It was Angie. I opened the text message from my teenaged half sister. She wished me a happy birthday, and said that she and Joey had a surprise for me, and that she loves me. Ending with a smiley face, I did the same. Smiled, for the first time in a long time. I replied and said thank you, and that I loved her too.

I fell asleep smiling, and hoping that everything would get better soon.

Angie gave me hope. Maybe life isn't so bad after all.


	2. Tear me Open

**I screwed up on my last chapter, surprise surprise.**

**I said it's been almost two years since Craig saw Ellie, but it's only been one year. My bad. :S**

**Inspired by Fall - He is We. Also a good song, check it out. (Kinda reminds me of the season 6 episode, "What's it feel like to be a ghost?" now that I think about it.)**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Degrassi.**

**Noon, September 10.**

Where do I begin?

All my life I'd been the glue. I held my friends and my family together, and I was the one you turned to when everything was falling to pieces. I had to have everybody happy; even if that meant that I had to be unhappy. That's why I cut.

When I cut, I'm the one who controls the pain. I'm the one who chooses whether to go deeper or not. The vertical and horizontal lines all over my arms are like an escape; I don't have to worry about people around me or the crap going on in my life. It helps more than any therapist could.

I stopped cutting for a long time. Almost five years to be exact.

I started again about three months ago. I received a letter from Craig Manning, who had kissed me in Los Angeles and then didn't bother calling for six months. I ignored the letter, and gave into my depression and cut again. It was stupid, but I didn't care. It helped.

I also stopped going to group therapy, even though I had been going since sophomore year. Every year, about five high school kids would leave, and another five would arrive. And year after year, I would stick around. I've seen just about every problem a teenager could have; drug problems, eating disorders, family problems, and the occasional cutter like me. I decided to stop going because no one really wanted to hear the same thing every week from me. I felt like I was boring everyone with my stupid problems.

I opened my eyes and regretted it the second I saw how blindingly bright it was in my bedroom. It was noon, and I had slept through a breakfast date I had with my best friend, Marco Del Rossi. I groaned and sat up in bed, rubbing my eyes violently to get the sleepiness out of my system. I had three missed texts from Marco, all of which sounded very angry. Ever since my relapse, I didn't feel like hanging out with anyone at all, let alone Marco. He wouldn't understand.

He knew about the letter which I hadn't read, and it seemed like every time we hung out after I received the letter he would bug me to open it. He eventually gave up, and probably assumed I had thrown it out. It was still on my bedroom floor in its envelope. I refused to open it.

I heard a knock on my door, and pulled my covers up over my left arm, which was covered in criss-crossed lines from cutting. The door cracked open, and Marco entered with a concerned look on his face.

"Why is it that every time we have plans, you sleep through them?" He crossed his arms and gave me a disappointed look. I sighed. "I'm sorry Marco. I've been tired." I was telling the truth. I didn't have the energy to do anything lately.

"El, you've been cooped up in this room since June. You need to get out of here and do something fun." He sat at the foot of my bed, and pulled two pieces of brightly coloured sheets of paper out of his messenger bag. "There's a music festival downtown, and I hear a certain Miss Ashley Kerwin will be playing there tonight. Come with me, we haven't seen Ash in forever. And plus, it would do you good to get out of here." He passed me one of the tickets. "Marco, I don't know..." I looked at the ticket and tried to think of a way to get out of it.

"You owe me Eleanor! You've skipped out on our plans way too many times, and you're not getting out of this one. I was talking to Ashley, and she misses you to death." Marco looked at me through two pools of brown, which urged me to say yes.

I gave in. "Fine. I'll go, but only because your puppy dog look is almost impossible to say no to." I sat up a bit straighter, even though my posture was horrible.

Marco clapped his hands together excitedly."Yays! I'll swing by and pick you up at around eight, okay?" He looked genuinely happy. _There you go again, Nash. Tip toeing around everyone else's feelings just to make them happy._ I sighed.

Marco kissed me on the cheek, smiled and almost skipped out of my room. "Wear something cute, Nash. There could be a cute boy or two there, and you could find yourself a man tonight." He winked, and left me alone again.

_I highly doubt that will ever happen._

I lay back down in my bed, pulled my covers up over my head, and lost myself in another dream.


	3. Announcement

Hey guys!

Sorry for the lack of updates lately! I've been really focused on another project that I want to get out of the way before I finish this story. I've had writers block for this one for a few weeks, so I've been writing the other one every chance I get. Also, my life has been pretty hectic because my brother is graduating, which means that me, being the photographer of the family, has to take pictures to document his final days of high school. That'll go on for another week or two, and I also have my own finals and what not in school so I haven't really had a whole lot of time to myself. And, like I said before, with the time I do have to myself, I write for my other project. I promise updates soon! I'm just pretty stressed out with school, family issues and some other personal and health issues I've been having.

If you want to check out my other story to tide yourself over, it's called "All You Did Was Save My Life", and it's basically just the summer before Season 5, when Craig and Ellie became good friends. I also changed up a few things, which you'll see if you read the story. I'm currently working on the fifth chapter of that story.

Once I finish my current three projects I have on the go (this, my story "Accidents", and the story I explained above), I'm going to work on another one I have planned, which is just basically a reunion of all of the original Degrassi characters (season 1 and 2 characters).

Please read and review my other story! It truly makes my day when I go online at school and see a new review. I promise, if you guys like this, you'll love "All You Did Was Save My Life".

xox,

Charity.


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